So, lots of stuff. Kaythxbye. :3

So there's like so much I wanna talk about that has happened in the last few days. Some of it's sad, some of it's good. Ohwell ^^;.

Carly's house.
So everything started when I went to Carly's house. She's ma cousin. I went there and we were just chillen and stuff. When I got there her cat was having kittens. She had four I believe. It took around six hours for her to have them all. I think something went wrong, well it obviously did because all of the newborns died. The first one was alive, and died the next day. The next two were both miscarriages, & the last one died later the next day. It was so sad, but the mother wouldn't even nurture them. They were so cold, and they were barely moving. It was horrible ;-;.

Tongue Piercing
So I've actually wanted my tongue pierced for a really long time, I finally did it though! :3. I wasn't even scared. The guy was about to put it through and I kinda flinched, then I told Carly to come over so I could squeeze her hand. I squeezed more before he put the needle through then when he actually pierced it xD. It was funny. I can barely talk or eat though, and my tongue has swollen up even more than when it was done. I hope it goes down in the next week or so D:! So I ordered a large pizza when I was at Carly's right? I waited one whole hour for this pizza to come. When it finally came I was so hungry, I was like so down to eat this pizza. Everyone started eating like three slices each and I couldn't even eat the pepperoni off of my first pizza T_T. I was so fed up and mad, that I took the piercing out, and started eating away at four pieces of pizza xD. Hooboy, it's a good thing it didn't close up xD.

Hangouts with Quinn et Caroline last night
Twas fun :3. I actually had a lot of fun with them yesterday. We went to the park, and the pizza store, and I was actually able to eat the pizza. Well two slices of it anyway xD. I was so proud. Then we went to da park some more, and we were just hanging out there. I gave Caroline a present, it was a small mushroom king 8D. But it was actually some little kids drawing of a fat guy. Ahaha, she threw it away anyways :c. They kept making fun of me cause I have a lisp and I kept telling them that I didn't (even though I know I do xD) I could barely talk, it was funny.

Today ^^;
So today I wasn't even feeling good so I slept till 3:30. It was like the best sleep I've had in a long time, even though my brother Josh kept coming in and showing me how my cat was growling :\. I don't know, he's fucked. So I woke up and had a shower, and Josh was all like "I wanna go to the movies" & I was all like "Well take me 8D" & he was all like "SURE THANG". So now we're going to see a 6:15 show tonight. We be seeing Dinner for Schmucks. It looks so funny :3. I can't even wait.

Everything
I just wanted to write something completely irrelevant.
I'm so sorry for acting the way I've been acting.
I'm sorry for doing the things I did.
Saying the things I said,
& making you feel the way I made you feel.
I feel really bad about everything, but I hope you all know that I know who my friends are, & maybe I got upset over stupid things. But I hope you guys know that you are my real friends. ^^;
♥♥

Goodbye friendship I guess? :S

well i guess we have our own friends right? & you talk to yours, and I talk to mine. But why does it seem like we never talk to each other? i guess we talk, but not really about important things, yet you seem to have all the right words for everyone else - except me. am i just being jealous? i mean, you could have asked me to call you.. seeing as ive barely actually had a real conversation with since yesterday. and maybe i acted stupid for awhile, but its cause i was upset. you have to understand that, just look what goes on in my messed up life.
yet you always seem to have to time for her. whatever i guess.. ill just sit back and be the third wheel in your twisted friendship.

& as for you. ive done so much for you, yet you dont even talk to me. you dont ever make plans with me, its always with him. and how long have you known him compared to how long youve known me? >< Ive always been there for you, and ive helped you through so much.. and youve helped me through things too. but it just seems like you dont want me in your life anymore.. youre just pushing me away it seems ._.

Fml.

I suck at life.
I suck at love.
I suck at relationships.
I suck at having priorities.
I suck at dealing with things.
I suck at everything.

I'm just saying..

I know it's kind of cliche...

but sometimes I wish I had a best friend.

Let's just betray people, that's cool.

Well today I went to my cousins house.. but I guess I went on the wrong day. :\ When I got there everything was a mess. I mean not literally, but drama-wise. It seems that I just walk into drama all the time ;-;. I guess there was people fighting there and they were yelling at each other and people were crying and yeah, not pretty. But me and Carly went to go get something to eat for dinner, and as we were walking back we could hear screaming from her apartment, and the sound of someone being hit..When we got inside there was a fist fight D: The guy just ran out and my cousin started crying cause her friend was just beat up. Holy fuck, it was scary. So I just got some things and left after everything settled down. The crazy thing is, is that Carly's boyfriend *let* these random ass people beat up Carly's friend. Well he's Melford's friend too.. I felt so bad for the kid, he was so upset after he was just beat up. He kept asking Melford why he would let them beat him up and that he thought that Melford was his friend. Wow. It was bad.

But besides that I HAVE SOME WONDERFUL NEWS :D..
Are you ready? :)
So, remember that writing contest I entered a few weeks ago? Well guess what? I came in second place out of fifty people. Chyeaaaaa. I wasn't supposed to know till Friday but they just ended up telling me today. So I don't actually get a reward and what not till Friday xD. But still :D.

That's all I wanted to blog about, so yeah. Bye :DDD

sdfshg

Thriving,
striving.
Trying,
& lying.
Confiding,
defying,
& then colliding.
Climbing,
& flying.
Soaring, & retrying.

sdjgaskld :D

How will I survive this long night? I can't even close my eyes, so that I can wake up tomorrow and everything will be alright. I suppose this smile is my greatest disguise. But still my memory haunts me with all my vile lies. They keep coming back to me, like driftwood in a tide. You used to be the one I had there to rely. But you chose your path, and you left with a goodbye. Don't worry, I know it was my fault - that I realize. Though my memories are buzzing inside. As if I am the silence and you are the fly. All of my pain is released in long sighs, and all I have left to do now is cry.

Today :D

So I actually haven't blogged about what I was going to in awhile D:
Today should be fun ^^; I'm going up to Quinn's house.. we're going to watch Harry Potter four. :D My favourite one x3. I'm so happy, I haven't seen that one in a really long time, it's the only one I don't own now ;-;.

& seeing Quinn will be fun too 8D. Lol, kidding, I actually want to see him a lot. Yesterday we were actually supposed to hang out but I ended up getting sick, and my mom told me that I should stay home. So I had to stay home, and cancel my plans with him :c.. To top it all off my mom told me that I had to do my laundry, and I have to go to a laundrymat >_< It was so ghey.. she knew I was sick, but she was just being a bitch D:

So last night I came across this guy, & he's a singer. He's actually so amazing, like, I'm obsessed o.o; <33.
His name is Ron Pope, here are some of his best songs :3:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKGBjWSFXy8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TC7cXgoNew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hblVEYRGuHg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZENeQ4ph8IA

That's all that was really important today, so cha, Goodbye ^^;.
♥

Yo.

These songs inspire us - make us believe.
We never chose to stay, & all we want is to leave.
Sweet, sweet melody soothing our souls.
Warming our hearts, when we were left in the cold.
Can you hear the choir singing in harmony?
As the war breaks out - they stand silently.
If you can't hear the songs, well just pretend.
We continue to fight - this was bound to happen.
Listen to the choir, and subside for awhile.
Don't you remember when we were left indenial?
Once we were all thrown out in the cold.
Broken and tired, all we had was to grow old.
But we took advantage of the music we heard.
It brought us joy - an emotion we never learned.
We broke out in to warfare, and all we wanted was more.
Jealousy raged between us, and we closed all our doors.
Caught up in havoc, we didn't even recognize.
That the choir never stopped singing - right before our eyes.
Too bad we couldn't see that - or at least of pretended.
Because think of everything that we could have possibly mended.

sjldkNGfdhgfh Hi.

There was a time when she was alone,
& the walks she took at night,
were accompanied by her silent tears.
Because she was confused,
and didn't know who to trust.
Her faith was abused,
by the ones around her.
Every night she would walk alone,
with no one there for comfort.
But one night she stumbled upon a boy.
He was walking alone,
& he was only accompanied by his silent tears.
They both stood there in the dim light
of the city street lamp.
The boy walked up and stared into her eyes.
He wiped away the girls tears,
and she smiled.
The boy put out his hand,
and the girl embraced his acceptance.
The sun was rising,
and the sting of coldness had began to fade.

I think I'll make this a blog post 8DD

\\Quinn// Fuck off, you fucking assholes. I tried to be nice but you fuck shit up. Forget you. says:
lolthanks
8D
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
LMFAO
\\Quinn// Fuck off, you fucking assholes. I tried to be nice but you fuck shit up. Forget you. says:
8D <--- face of my life
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
that face makes life funnier :')
\\Quinn// Fuck off, you fucking assholes. I tried to be nice but you fuck shit up. Forget you. says:
lmao it does
like:
"LOL IM DYING 8D"
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
LOLOL
\\Quinn// Fuck off, you fucking assholes. I tried to be nice but you fuck shit up. Forget you. says:
or like
"my dog just ran infront of a car.
8D"
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
WTF
xD
\\Quinn// Fuck off, you fucking assholes. I tried to be nice but you fuck shit up. Forget you. says:
lmao
x3
"I think i have aids! 8D"
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
LMFAO

*Deeeep deep sigh*

I'm lying half the time I speak. Mostly because I can't bare to tell the people in my life what's going on with me. I say I don't care and that I'm fine, and I appear to have this attitude like nothing bothers me. But that's a lie. Truth is, everything and everyone bothers me. The things people do, what they say, how they act, and how they can completely influence me & break me down just adds up inside of me. All these years I've been pushed and shoved, and thrown down to the ground. Now I've learned how to perfect the art of lying. How to cover up my emotions & my problems. How to hide behind false pretenses. All of the things that have happened to me have just thrown me right over the edge. Now I just swim in my own cerebral darkness. Living in an ocean of lies & despair. Confusion eats me alive everyday. There must be something wrong with me, because I'm really unable to fully explain to another human being what's really going on. I think people try and understand me, but they could never possibly understand me fully. There is no one that will ever be able to help me out in my life. So I guess I'm just going to continue to deal with it on my own. I've made it this far, so I guess I can push even further. I just hope that it doesn't destroy me & completely fuck me up.

LOL

Quinn and Caroline are scaring me..
Care-" I'M NOT DONE!"

WHAT IS GOING ON
THIS IS CRAZINESS
WHAT THE EFF.

PRESENT FOR CAROLINE 8DD

So I found this in my notes cause sometimes i go through them, and well, i just thought id post it cause it seemed post worthy. this is the poem i wrote for caroline when she was really upset one day x3

Caroline's Poem
(this is actually what i titled it xD)

You're only as bad,
as their tiny words may seem.
& you're only as much of a failure,
when you choose to listen and believe.

But to succeed in life, all you have to do,
is reach within your heart, and pull out the real you.

Let the real you show off a true smile,
& let the moment sweep over you; all the while..

Remember that you didn't let them feed you words of hate,
& remember that you didn't let them use you like live bait.
Finally, to be truly happy, remember never stop fighting for that dream,
and that it doesn't matter what others make you seem.

Non-depressing stuff...& non-correct grammar..

so there was a huuuuuuuuuuuge explosion of drama today,
and it was really fucking pathetic tbh.
but im not going to blog about it, cause no one wants to hear about it anymore, and quite frankly; im annoying myself by even bringing it up again.

anyyywaayyss, i wanted to blog about happy stuff. since there was obviously a whole lotta lack of it.

happy thing number one
you make me happy all the time. whenever i talk to you, whenever i see you. its only been a few short weeks now, but it feels longer. im not just saying this, i know what im talking about. youre nice, & kind, & sweet, & just so amazing in my eyes. you dont know how much ive fallen for you, and i cant wait to watch this grow.

happy thing number two
my friends are amazing, well, the ones that dont cause drama. i may only have a few true friends, but they are the only ones i need. i mean, i care about ALL of my friends. but i love and care about my true friends so much more deeply. they are always there for me, and i am always there for them. i hope you guys know who you are.

happy thing number three
my brothers are my best friends in the whole world. this sort of contradicts what i JUST said, but theyre my brothers. and i love them a lot. i dont know what i would ever do with out you two. you are the only reason i keep going, & the only reason why i dont break down and give up. i want to be there for you guys as we grow up. i want to get old and remember the old times, i dont ever want to be out of your lives. i dont think my life would be the same without you.

happy thing number four
totally unrelated to everything i just posted, but i went and saw the sorcerers apprentice today in theatres with one of my younger brothers. it was actually AMAZING. i nearly cried at the ending, and that is saying a lot. and i saw a preview for HP7 and i think i might have died and came back to life. seriously cant wait for that goddamn movie.

end of happy rant, kaybye ♥

Harry Potter Six- Foreshadowing.

So today I realized in harry potter six, when Draco is putting the white bird into the cupboard that this is foreshadowing a major event.

Lemme explain. So Draco is putting the white bird into the cupboard to make sure that the death eaters will receive it in sister cupboard at Borgin & Burkes. Right? Well the white bird represents the purity and goodness that is Hogwarts, and the people that are fighting to keep Harry alive. However when the bird is returned it is dead, and this is exactly what the death eaters and Voldemort plan on doing to Harry; alongside any of the people that are trying to protect him. They are trying to kill the good.
Are you with me still? Sorry if it doesn't make sense, it's three in the morning. So the bird is returned dead, and this is foreshadowing all of the deaths that are soon to come in HP7 of the good people, or the "Light".

But when Harry and Ginny are hiding the Potions book in the room of requirement, there is a bird that is trying to get out of the cupboard and into the school. It so happens to be black, and it is coming from the death eaters- or the dark side. He flies out, powerfully, and is inside of Hogwarts. It is not dead, and the bird is able to enter the school. This is what they do in the seventh book, the death eaters and Voldemort come and fuck shit up in Hogwarts cos they found a way in.
(the bird was also inside hogwarts itself, while the black bird came from outside.)
Coincidence?
I don't know.
But maybe I just over analyze dumb things too much.
It was still interesting to me, nonetheless.
LMAO

Idk

We're always looking for something to compare life too. So that we can understand it just a tiny bit more than what we did before. Like music, we try and relate to what others sing about. But they don't know either, they're just relating things to their music to make them feel like they know what life is about just a tiny bit more than what they did before. It's a never ending circle of relating unrelated things to something that can not be related too. Do you catch my drift? No one knows what life is about, but we try to compare the things we know to the emotions we feel so that we don't feel as confused as we did before.In retrospect, we are all lost and confused people in a mysterious world, that we have no idea what we're talking about.

When the rain falls, it doesn't fall lightly.

The thunder echoes through my empty heart.
& the words I said have torn us apart.

The rain has begun to fall upon my skin.
& I have nothing left to believe in.

The lightning brightens up the entire sky.
& the love we shared has proven to be lies.

The gloomy clouds linger over-head.
& I begin crying, alone, in my bed.

The sun never shines, when it storms like this.
& I realize now all I fell for was bliss.

The rain is pounding harder than ever before.
& Our memories are scattered all across my floor.

hgjdfkhkg

There was a girl.
& everyday,
She dreamt of the same thing.
To find love in something that money couldn't buy.
So when 11:11 rolled around,
on her lonesome nights.
She wished for the same thing.
To find love.
But as time went on,
she found her wish fading away.
Into the darkness,
left to decay.
Because love is evil,
and hides in disguises.
& she would find it in the most
uncertain places.
She put all her faith in
finding love.
But it was broken & shattered
every time she felt like she was
one step closer to finding it.
She gave herself away,
and she let her quest
slip away.
She had everything to lose,
& she knew this.
So she gave up,
searching for this treasure.
But then a door opened,
and all she could see
was a blinding light.
It struck her to the ground,
but she felt different this time.
She thought there might be a chance,
so she gave in.
She walked through the door,
and she saw a white dove.
But before she could get close enough,
it flew away.
She sat down at the only chair,
and began to cry.
Before she knew it however,
two doves flew back.
Then four, then six.
She stopped crying,
and sat in the silence.
She stared at the doves,
as she wiped away her tears.
The doves continued
to come in pairs.
There were hundreds,
and all of a sudden.
She realized what she found,
a miracle.

I'm cute, I guess.

cђelsey <3quinn. says:
Wanna hear a story?
\\Quinntino// says:
yeah
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
One time, there was this girl. She was all alone, and she felt like no one really understood her.
Then one day she began talking to this boy.
They became friends, but they never met.
So one day, her, the boy, and both of their best friend all hung out together.
The girl fell for the boy.
& then the boy fell for the girl.
So they made a plan to hang out together alone.
& when they were sitting in the grass in a park,
the boy asked the girl out, nervously.
and nervously, the girl replied "no" but she really meant, Yes.
The girl laughed, and said "Just kidding, I meant yes, obviously"
and all was well with the world.
The end.
\\Quinntino// says:
:3333333333333333333333
i like that story
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
Me too. One of my favourites.
\\Quinntino// says:
it sounds oddly familiar :O
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
It's because it's a true story.
\\Quinntino// says:
:O
yeah it makes sense
that sounds just like when me and y- OHWAIT
oh i get it now. x3
cђelsey <3quinn. says:
<3.

Ohay insignificant blog post.

At the foot of the stairs, with my fingers in your hair, baby this is itttt.


I have NOTHING to talk about, it's a travesty D:.
Well I guess I could talk about my day? That seems kind of logical, considering.. well yeah.
Anyways, so today I had made plans to hang out with Quinn. I left at like quarter to two, and I went downtown to catch the bus. Which was the Upper Ottawa.
So I get all the way up the mountain and totally get off at the wrong stop :\. I don't know what I was thinking, but I thought I was going the right way. I ended up walking all the way up and down Queensdale for like, and hour. I found my way to a convenience store. At this point, I was tired, hot, and hungry. So I got on the bus and went home thinking that Quinn had already left from where he was waiting for me (and I found out that he did). The bus came like twenty minutes later and I went home. When I got home I phoned Quinn right away, and was like "SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY". I actually felt like, so bad, cause every time (except once) I've been late for hanging out with him. Like by an hour at least every time ;-;.
BUT we figured (well Quinn did) out how to hang out with each other. His mom actually ended up picking me up after she was done work cause I'm so fucking retarded and managed to get lost (obviously). But yeah, I ended up getting to his house and we hung out and stuffz :3. It was fun, we continued our HP marathon x3. In a total random order, it's been like 1, 5, and six so far xD.
LOL.

But yeah, that's all that really happened today, and all that's really important.
Going to Wild Water Works tomorrow, ;) Should be fun, y0.
My cats are climbing all over me now. I think I'm going to murder them with my long shiny muggle wand.
Kaybye ~ ♥.

Yoh.

Hot air rises,
is that why you're head's in the clouds?
You better snap out of your twisted dream,
because it's harder than you believe.

dshfdjgfyasfdg

I feel like I'm at war,
between me and myself.
Though I know that this,
doesn't just involve me now.

We're wandering aimlessly,
and there's no point anymore.
We're constantly looking for more reasons to fight,
-something to keep us going.

I don't want a war,
this is too crazy for me.
Especially,
with everything that's going on in my life.
I wasn't looking for strife,
but I walked right through that door.
So let's just walk away,
turn our backs to eachother.
I don't surrender.
But I can't do this anymore.

Im not afraid, to take a stand.

Wait hold on,
I left you.
These feelings,
they dont even
belong to you.
Walk away,
like you did
before.
Ill watch you cry,
and my life is
gunna keep
moving along.
I take back
all the shit I said.
It means nothing,
I've just been so lost.
I needed someone.
I left for a reason,
and i'm sticking with it.
♥

You've got issues, but god knows, I've got mine too.

The only gift that you ever gave, was that you let me just get away. I hope I haunt you in every dream, & you feel a little misery. What's her name? What's she like? I should warn her that you'll never do her right. All your games. All your lies. I need to tell her maybe I can change her mind. You act like you just saw a ghost. I watch you getting way too close. Now I know why you're never there, now I know so it's my turn to disappear. You act like you just saw a ghost.

-------
You were once in my life, but not anymore.
The bond we once shared is over now.
Stop acting like you're better than anyone else.
You're not better, and that shouldn't even
be something to cross your mind.
-------
There was a chance with us,
but that fire has been put out.
None of my life has anything to
do with you anymore.
I don't feel the same way anymore.
Grow up.
♥

What's gone down, and what's going down ;3

So I haven't blogged in a bit, well more like a couple days xD.
LOTS OF STUFF HAPPENED IN THE PAST FEW DAYS :O..
Like.. the fact that I went to a party last night
and left extremely early with my friend Justine
because of all this dumb drama that happened. It
was seriously the most stupid thing ever. My friend
Louie's birthday was completely ruined cos of it
too. A few days ago me and my mom got into this
huge fight. She's so retarded, urgh >_<. It wasn't
fun at all. Uh the past few days I have not been able
to sleep at all :| although it's been like this for
like six months now, it's been getting even worse.
Uh, uh, uh, uh.. Today!
Today I have an appointment at 2:30ish,
and then I have to go to meet up with Quinn at four
downtown ♥, and then I'm going bowling at like
nine at night with Shawnna and her friends
so it should be lots of fun today :3.
But I'm not gunna get all worked up over it
cause everytime I get too happy,
something bad always happens to me.
So *doesn't get to excited*
*deep breath*
I'ma go now, and shower and get ready and stuff.
Kaybye.

We are broken.

Corruption is a vile taste, but it is the only one this family knows. False pretenses linger among the dust in our closets; disguising themselves as demons. The happiness is a lie, but we are well aware of this- and have been for awhile now. We hide our insecurities behind a wall of lies, because we are ashamed to show the truth that is hidden beyond the barriers that we have constructed on our own accord.

Our lives seem simplistic to people on the outside of our dusted windows, but they don't know. I am inside laying underneath a blanket of disaster. Complexities that we can not begin to fathom rained upon our very souls and have begun to take control of our very lives.

There are slurred screams of hatred, and putrid words of anger being echoed through the hallways that shatter our hearts into irreparable pieces. I am crying. I long for an escape from this wretched nightmare that we have called home. There is evil here, and I cannot live with it any more.

I do not belong here, for this is not love. This is hate, and it is not right. I am suffocating from the lack of freedom. I am imprisoned within the walls of my own familiar room, and am unable to leave, to run, to hide; to be anywhere but here.

Alone under a blanket of corruption, I am silently sobbing to ease the anger that tenses up my whole body and release the confusion built up within my heart. No one can hear me under this blanket, only I can hear what is going on outside of my closed door.

Glass is shattering on the ground from the impact of being thrown. Intentions of hurt are sprawled over the floors, and I begin to cry louder. Our lives are crashing to the hard, concrete ground. They are shattering into a million of tiny, insignificant, worthless pieces. They can not be fixed. We can not be fixed.

There are flashing lights outside my home, and a handful of strangers barge inside to ease the pain. But the pain will never be eased. The strangers take us apart and separate us. There are violent sobs of sorrow and pain being screamed to one another, but it is too late. There is nothing that we can do at this point to fix what has happened. This family is forever pained, and there is no forgiveness to be found within my heart.

This was our life, with corruption leaking in through every broken crack of my once peaceful home. We are holding on by a splitting string- we are broken.

Really, really, reaaaaaally unimportant rant.

I had something to blog about..
But now I don't remember :|
It's funny cause today someone told me that I was good at remembering things.
I have the worst memory in the world :\..
I don't know what to say now..

*ladeedeeda*

There's not really a point of being on the computer right now, I have nothing to do. No one to talk to cause it's quarter to one and everyone is probably sleeping.. That's probably what I should be doing too. But y'know, I can't sleep at a half descent time anymore cause my body hates me or somethin'.

I could talk about anime night, or for better words.. lack of xD.

Maybe it's cause Eric gave me wrong directions to Joe's house today, and I ended up being like .. forty five minutes late. Woo, long bus rides are always fun.

But other than that misfortune, anime night was pretty fun. Just chillin' with everyone, watching Lucky Star (the most pointless anime I've ever seen) and all that snazzy stuff.

But yaw. What to talk about *thinks*
I guess there's nothing really good to talk about at the moment. I'll probably have more stories for you tomorrow :\.
Now that I think about it.. this was really unnecessary.

*shrugs*

Oh well, I guess it's good to just talk about nothing important sometimes, takes your mind off of the important things, and just let's you relax.. I guess.

Anyways, I'ma stop blogging about nothing now and stop wasting space.
So, uhh, yeah..

Goodbye!~ ^-^;

Wonderful news in the world of Chelsey..

When I woke up this morning, I was kind of in a mad mood. Why? I have no idea. Maybe it's my retarded sleeping situation that seems to be taking control.. But anyways, I was in a mad mood, and for whatever reason.. I don't know.

But when I went to an appointment that I had today I heard some very lovely news. Would you like to know what it is? Well of course you do.

So a few weeks ago I stumbled upon a writing contest. I love writing, but never really write as much as I would like to (or even put any effort into it at all). I took up the chance to enter it, and well let's just say I procrastinated.. a lot. I ended up writing a last minute entry just because you got 25 $ for entering. I didn't really think much of it, and I was kind of embarrassed by the entry that I submitted. Anyways, so today I had an appointment with the same organization that I had submitted the entry to. As we were chatting away, the writing contest came into the conversation. I said that I had entered and that I didn't get my incentive for entering. She handed me it, and then continued to say how much of an amazing entry I had summited to the contest. I told her that it wasn't that great, but she assured me that it was really good. She then told me that, although she wasn't aloud to say, or even talk about it at that point; that my entry was so good that I qualified for either 1st 2cd or 3rd place. First place is 75 $ and your entry gets published somewhere, second is 50 $ and I really don't know what 3rd is.. some sort of cash prize.

My day = made.

If I win first or even second, I will be like, so happy x3. If I win first, this will be the second writing contest that I've entered and won in ^w^. *crosses fingers* Wish me luck guys! I should find out next week what I placed in, and if I do win, maybe I'll post my stupid last-minute poem on blogspot :').

*Dies of happiness*.

Anyways, that's all I really wanted to blog about today.
Oh, and I got my lip ring back. *plays with lip ring*
That also made my day, but not as much as this.

Im ghey

do you see the emotion in my brush stroke?
or the feeling in my music notes?

do you see the dreams in my eyes?
or the truth in my lies?

i wonder if you can hear my heart racing,
or my feet when they're pacing.

Ohay Ke$ha lyrics.. where'd you come from?

there's a place I know, if you're looking for a show.
where they go hardcore, and there's glitter on the floor.
Had a fun day today.
It was awesome.
And cute.
And I saw Despicable Me.
That was pretty cool too.
To sum it all up,
I really liked today.
Like, a lot.
♥

It's not my fault. :3.

So I kinda have this addiction, and every time I get the chance to use it I take it. It's so addictive that it has taken over my entire life. Like, from the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to bed, it's all I do. You guys have to know though, it's seriously not my fault. I never get a chance to get rid of this addiction. It's all I hear about all the time, and it makes me the happiest inside. It makes me so happy that it makes me want to dance and sing.

Wanna know what my addiction is?

KE$HA LYRICS ♥.

It's not my fault though, Ke$ha is all I hear on the radio. And since I have no speakers for my computer, I have to listen to the same radio station.. You see my radio is special.. I can't change the station cause if I do I'll never see this radio station ever again cause it's so hard to find. And who knows if I'll even find a good radio station if I do try and change it. But that's okay, I'll just keep listening to this radio station ;3.

Caroline and Quinn already attempted to give me an intervention, obviously it didn't work ♥.

Summer 2010.

Summer 2010 is looking to be one of the best summers ever. Everything's working out again (Lol, I know I said this before, but still x3).

So I have a lot of things to blog about. For one, I got a job. It's pretty cool, all I have to do is serve food and clean, and make money. Which is what I need for this summer. Money. I want to do a lot this summer that I never did before with friends. I haven't really ever had the whole summer to myself since I'm always going to my cottage.. Don't get me wrong I like going there! :O It's just I go there for like a month at a time T.T It just drains out my whole summer cause half way through being up there I just get so bored. I remember one time I was up there for so long that I got bored and just read Harry Potter six like every day all day and finished it in like three or four days o-o;. That's really good for me considering I'm a slow reader. Anyways, yeah I just want to do a lot this summer. And I have been! Well technically not yet, but I already have a whole list of things that I'm already doing in the next three weeks or so. Tomorrow I'm going to Wild Water Works with Carly.. I can't wait, it's going to be so nice to just be in water all day, specially since it's been so effing hawt this whole week. Plus it'll be nice to just hang out with Carly one on one, like the old days. It's been a little too hard to do that at the moment cause we're both going through so much right now. It's hard to just spend quality time together, but that's changing now since we've been actually hanging out.. not just fighting over fucked up drama that we had before at the old place. It was just too crazy and I know we both couldn't handle it.

Anyways, I have more plans for the following weeks too! Like going to African Lion Safari next wednesday! Woo. I'm really excited xD. It's been so long since I went to a zoo. I want to see all the animals and stuff, especially a giraffe. I <3 Giraffes.

In about two weeks from now I'm going to Wild Water Works again! Yay for going to Wild Water Works twice. But yeah, should be a fun summer! Can't wait to hang out with everyone and see old faces, maybe meet some new ones.

There's so many opportunities this summer, it's crazy. I've just run into like so many in like a week. It's amazing, I love this feeling ^o^. But yeah.. 'Nough about my summer plans and errthang.

I'll rant up another storm soon, right now I'm gunna let my fingers relax for a bit. ^w^, Talk to you later blogspot.

Ohay new blog post.

Ohello blogspot :3. Haven't ranted to you in awhile.

I haven't written a blog in like, four months. Which is weird because when I made this I was determined to write about my life on it all the time so that I could remember it when I was older or something corny a long those lines x3. I guess when bad things happen to you it kind of breaks down your determination.. well, your whole life, really.

So instead of writing about *all* things that have happened in the past week, I decided that I'm going to just write about all the happy things that happened this week.. Because I really need a pick-me-up (stole that from Harry Potter, Js).

This week was, to sum it all up, kind of amazing. I finally realized everything in my life. I don't even know what happened, it was just like I was blind and I suddenly put on glasses and everything became so much clearer to me. It was like an epiphany. D:! Seriously.

Anyways, after that I got into one of the greatest moods ever. It was just like I couldn't be upset, and no one could make me upset. I was that happy. I got all of my stuff from my old house and put it all back in my room and as soon as I finished that I felt so much better. It was like a piece of me was missing and as soon as I put my belongings back into it's proper places, I was complete again. Do you know what I mean? Maybe it's just me..

Anyways, there are way more things that made me happy. Another one, and a very important one if I do say so myself, was hanging out with Care. That also made me feel so much more awesome. It was like everything was falling back into place again, and I was falling with it. It was the most amazing feeling ever. Have you ever missed something you had in your life so much that when you found it you felt like you could do anything and everything? Well that's what I felt like as soon as I met up with her. Oh, and another thing that happened was going to Br. That kind of made me die inside x3. Walking through the halls, looking at the pictures.. It was amazing. I missed the school so much, and when I walked inside everything in the world was just right. I saw Mr. Flemming aswell, he's the guidance councillor at school for my grade. He actually saw me which was the best part. He asked me if I had a minute like as if I wanted to actually talk to him.. It was really awkward.. but I'm so glad that I talked to him.. We walked up the stairwell and talked about where I was going to go to school in the fall. I said I had no idea because I wasn't allowed back to br anymore. He said that I was allowed to come back and that I was never expelled! I honestly almost died inside as soon as he said that. Everything's working out for the most part.. The most important things anyways.

There are so many other things that made me happy this week. Like a billion to be honest. ♥ Like that heart.. It makes me happy. But you don't you know why, nor do you need to creepy lurkers, :3. But I just know that things are starting to feel extraordinary inside ♥, and the people around me now are just constantly putting a smile on my face. It feels good to be wanted in someones life. Words can't even describe the feeling. ♥♥


there was silence and calm, and all you could hear; was the pattering of rain, and the running of deer. but a soft echo reigned from the sky far above,
it is a cold and broken Hallelujah- that's what defines love. ♥